


Let Me Be Me

by Guggi



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asexual Character, Asexual Fili, F/M, Hinted Bofur/Nori, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-05 04:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guggi/pseuds/Guggi
Summary: Thorin wishes Fíli would find a special someone.Problem is, Fíli isn't interested in love or relationships. He'll now rely on his family and friends to convince his slightly stubborn uncle otherwise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for any inconsistencies regarding the Tolkien canon. It's a little overwhelming to figure out all the timelines, but I did my best, and it's an AU.  
> Hope you enjoy! :D

Thorin trod down the - once again - familiar walls of his beloved Erebor. Every crack and every corner he had explored once in his youth. From the great halls to the smallest of spaces. Who build this room? And what for? 

He often found it used as a mere storage room. The very thought had the young Thorin perturbed. And for what? Rags, kitchen utensils and dusters? This room - this particular room - could have been designed by the builders to hold great treasure. Long lost maps! But not now. Not anymore at least. 

He nearly formed a smile and shook his head at the thought of his young adventurous self. What imagination and wonder had laid before him then. His fond memories almost darkened though, at the thought of how soon that innocence had been taken from him. How quickly he was to become a grown dwarf and a responsible king. 

He had long since lost the sense of wonder he so wonderfully possessed then. Luckily, it had been passed on to his dear nephews. And then some. 

Not a day had gone by without the two of them getting lost somewhere or wreaking havoc at the weekly market or in some, forgotten to most, - but not Thorin - distant place. 

Fíli and Kíli were however at the moment busy at the moment showing Tauriel around. The elf had by now seen most of Erebor and its surroundings, but something kept popping up. 

“You have to see the rock carvings that’s supposed to be of former important Masters and Honorables, but now just resembles a rat’s behind!” or “Come see the diamonds they couldn’t sell because they looked like phallic symbols!”

Kíli had nicely settled in with Tauriel. No kids yet, but they were still young. Thorin sometimes huffed and puffed at the dinner table, when those two lovebirds couldn’t leave each other be for more than thirty minutes straight. 

Fíli, of course, just enabled their behavior. 

Kíli and Tauriel were with them at the moment, here inside the Lonely Mountain. Thorin was always pleased to have him here (where he could keep an eye on him) and missed him greatly when he for a few months every year left for Mirkwood. 

It wasn’t much they saw of each other at the moment, him and his blood relatives. Everyone  was always going off to visit someone somewhere. He himself was no exception. 

For, you see, a certain special someone had followed him here to his cherished home. Or rather, two special som--

“Uncle, we’re going to the lake outside, can we bring Frodo? He’s been begging all week, and we can’t find Bilbo.” He was interrupted mid-thought by his youngest nephew. Kíli stuck his head around the wall and showed his floppy raven hair. A young Frodo’s voice was heard somewhere too. 

“There you are, we’ve been running all over trying to locate any of you”, Fíli chimed in. 

Thorin glanced around. Time had escaped him, but he was certain it was still early. 

“Sure”, he nodded. The four of them took off right away, with the young Frodo turning around and giving him a rushed wave. He waved back and watched them in the distance for a while yet. 

The two hobbits were indeed new inhabitants of the Mountain. They packed up about twice a year and left his kingdom for the small but cosy living quarters that was Bag End. The journey was long but it was worth every penny spent when the hobbits settled comfortably in their old home for the next month or two. Thorin was relaxed too, he knew the kingdom and all its duties were well taken care of by his family. 

They used Bag End as sort of a vacation home. And to visit Bilbo’s relatives and make sure Frodo was well educated on the topic of his hobbit culture. 

He was young and impressionable. Thorin thanked the gods every day that he hadn’t experienced the darker times of this world. 

He reached the door to his - their - personal part of the palace. A teapot whistled inside. Bilbo had been cautious, but in the end grateful, for servants cooking all the daily meals. He quickly learned how much more free time it gave him, to not prepare so many meals. Dwarven books and long talks with scholars had since been his favorite way to spend his time, aside from Thorin and all combined nephews. 

But he would we darned if anyone were to make his own personal tea for him, so Thorin knew exactly who he could expect to see beside the teapot, wondering what today’s flavor and aroma would be. 

“Ah, Thorin, just in time!”, Bilbo turned around when he heard the door shut and held a small bag in front of Thorin’s nose. “This,” he waved it around. “Or this?” Another bag dangling in front of him, filled to the brim with spicy tea leaves. 

Thorin took his time. He had become some kind of tea connoisseur himself after he met Bilbo, if he must say so. 

“The second one. And let me guess.” He paused for a few seconds. “Cinnamon?” 

Bilbo tutted playfully. “That one was easy.” He dumped it in the kettle. 

“Cinnamon should only be put in water below eighty degrees.” Thorin raised his eyebrow knowingly. “Or else the flavor might damage.”

Bilbo laughed and shook his head. “Stop quoting from some old, discarded tea book you’ve found and taste. It’s not so bad.” 

Taking their time to enjoy the quiet couple of minutes they get with each other every day, the conversation soon turned to the topic of the nephews. 

“--gone away several times since we’ve come back here, but never seems to find anyone.”

“What are you saying? He has multiple friends. All over. If you didn’t stop him from going far beneath the Misty Mountains he’d have goblin friends coming over before we knew it.”

“Perish the thought! Goblins! No, after establishing connections with the Elves of Mirkwood and Rivendell the fact that my own Kíli finds one doesn’t bother me .. that much. But Fíli--”

“Thorin, Fíli will find someone at one time or another. It could be anywhere.”   
“He has been everywhere! So it seems. Every time he leaves I worry, but at the same time I hope he feels a connection. To someone. Anyone.” 

Bilbo shook his head. “Not just anyone, dear. Watch out before you become too rushed, and the wrong kind of person steps in before the right can get a chance to.”

Thorin spoke no more, concentrating on the beverage in front of him. Deep down he knew that none of it was his concern. But then again, he couldn’t help but think that it was. His kingdom was on the rise. To say that in some years, maybe a decade, it would prosper wouldn’t be a lie. And being secure in knowing that the royal family had an heir, well, that was any king’s job. He would have to talk to Bilbo about that later.  

 


	2. Chapter 2

At the nearby lake, Frodo and Kíli were splashing around eyed closely by Fíli and Tauriel. 

Kíli had Frodo on his shoulders and jumped up and down in the water. 

Tauriel breathed deeply. “Good to be outside again.” 

Fíli sensed her wariness and finished her thought aloud. “I know, it gets a bit stuffy in there.”  _ In more ways than one. _

“When you see the outside world, you suddenly become more addicted to it.” 

She nodded. “I know that just as well as you. My life before.. It wasn’t exactly, well-versed in the ways of the world. Just our small one.”  

“Many feel like that.”

“Correct. But not many get the chance or take the opportunity to expand their lives. And some who are presented the chance don’t grasp it.”

They smiled at each other, feeling like they had come to an agreement, both spoken and unspoken. Yet, still Fíli felt like there was something he wasn’t saying. Not something he hid, but more in the sense of not being able to pinpoint the exact reason for his uncomfort and communicating it directly. 

Kíli stepped out of the water and shook his head violently, letting the drops rain all over his companions. 

Fíli let out a grunt of disapproval at his brother. 

“What’s the matter? Why don’t you join us?”   
Fíli looked at his brother and the small hobbit, both staring back at him, pleading and starry-eyed, despite their quite big age-gap.

“Maybe some other time.” 

Kíli dried his hair and sat next to them. 

“I’ll leave for Rivendell in a fortnight.” 

“Aw, but I only just came a week ago, dear brother-in-law.” 

“I know you jest, but I’ll be sad to say goodbye, as always.”   
Tauriel smiled and laid a hand on his shoulder. 

“Diplomatic duties this time, so it’s not a regular vacation.”

“This is news to me.” Kíli looked dazzled. “When was this decided?” 

“Yesterday.” 

At that time, Frodo sprang out of the water and sprinted for the group. Tauriel held out her arms and they took turns carrying the worn-out Frodo back to the Mountain after they had their snacks. 

Thorin sat across Hýgil, an esteemed elderly dwarf. They were in his official meeting room. Thorin fidgeted with the nicely quilted tablecloth. 

“You send after me, Your Majesty?” Hýgil tried, after another minute in silence, only Thorin’s nervous humming being heard. 

Thorin cleared his throat and looked surprised, as if he had forgotten his guest was still present. “Y-yes, Master Hýgil.” Another low hum. “You see, my nephew Fíli.”

“A fine young lad”, the elderly dwarf cut in. “He’ll make the Kingdom proud one day.”

“Indeed. He tours the world extensively at the present time. Well, not the exact present time. I think he went to the lake. You see, Kíli and the elf maiden took him and Frodo with them. They like that. A-and I like that they like that! It’s good for them. I wish I had the time to do that. But at the mome-”

“Your Majesty?” Hýgil raised an eyebrow, respectfully. 

“Yes, sorry. Babbling. That happens sometimes. Fíli has a nice time with all of us. And it seems like he has with nearly everyone. Problem is.. I, sorry,  _ he _ hasn’t found someone to truly share that with. You’d think on all the travels he’d.. You know? But no.”

“And you wish-”   
“Your daughter? Hygís, is it? Yes. Is she.. seeing someone? At the moment?”

Hýgil shook his head, gently. “No. she came of age several years ago and no one has offered their hand in marriage to her.”

Thorin breathed deeply, gathering courage.  _ Of all the different duties I’ve come across this is most definitely the hardest! And the most unexpected… _

“Would she ..”

“Be interested in the Prince? That’s an arrangement we’d wholeheartedly accept!”

“Fantastic.” Thorin had to blink repeatedly to fully grasp the offer. An heir. His Kingdom would finally be secured. 

* * *

“An engagement?” Bilbo put down the fork before it could reach his mouth. 

“Not yet. Not exactly. You can’t engage two people while none of them are present. But I certainly think they’ll hit it off!”

“Thorin. You set up an engagement. For Fíli. With someone he has never met.” 

“Proposed engagement.” Thorin lifted his finger. 

“What’s ‘engagement’?” Frodo looked up from his food. 

“I can’t even comprehend-- Thorin, I--” Bilbo threw up his hands. 

Thorin looked concerned. “I don’t understand? This is pleasant news.”

“You see no problems in what you’ve just done?”

“I haven’t done anything. Yet. It’s up to them of course, you can’t force it upon anyone. But I will have to make Fíli understand that it’s greatly encouraged that he marries. Soon.”

Bilbo laid down his cutlery. Then picked it up again. Then laid it back down.  _ I sure hope Fíli doesn’t go along with anything he isn’t one hundred percent comfortable with _ , he thought, while Thorin vividly described the ‘magnificent and wonderful life of marriage’ to Frodo.  _ Magnificent and wonderful, indeed.  _

The very next day, Thorin called for his oldest nephew to come to his meeting locale. When he arrived, a determined Thorin and Hýgil were seated. An unsure Hygís stood behind them. 

“Yes, Uncle?” Fíli looked at the small handful of people in front of him. 

Thorin addressed the guests before he turned to Fíli. “Honorable Master Hýgil. Hygís. Welcome. I take it that she’s been informed of the situation?” Her father nodded. 

“Very well. Fíli. This is Hygís.” He nodded towards the taciturn dwarrowdam. “She is of a good family and has served our Kingdom for many years.” Fíli smiled and shook her hand. She shook back and bowed. “Your Majesties.” 

Hýgil took over. “She came of age some years ago. And she is looking for a suitable partner.” Hygís’ glance shifted, but she made no further notice of her own. 

Thorin gave them both a big smile. “As is Fíli!” 

Fíli looked surprised at his uncle. “I’m what?”

“Looking for a--”

Bilbo, who had been standing unnoticed outside the thick wooden door, still managed to hear almost every word that had been uttered, and could no longer retain himself. “Thorin, dear, we have a little situation outside. Now!”

“Excuse me?”

“I need you outside, now.”

“This is an important meeting. For our family and its future.”

Bilbo cocked his head to the side and stared directly at his husband. Thorin stood still for a good few seconds before giving in and following Bilbo outside. “I’m very sorry, I’ll be back in just a couple of minutes”, he barely had time to utter before the door was slammed behind him. 

Hýgil shifted in his seat, before he stood up abruptly and straightened his cloak. “Give it some time, Your Majesty.” He shook Fíli’s hand using both of his own and signaled for his daughter to follow him. Hygís hurried along, bowed quickly to Fíli before she left also. The hallway was thankfully empty, with Thorin and Bilbo having occupied the next room over. 

Fíli tried to be carefree and shook his shoulders, but couldn’t help a nagging feeling creeping up on him. How long before he couldn’t keep it up anymore? 

“Are you that preoccupied arranging your nephew’s love life, that you didn’t even present the idea to him before inviting that man and his poor daughter over?” Bilbo walked back and forth in front of Thorin. 

“Alright, maybe it could have been dealt a little more delicately, but I can’t wait forever.” 

“Exactly what is it your waiting for?” 

“An heir to the throne after Fíli. A half elf would not be permitted, and Fíli.. well, he’s all that’s left. You know my brother..”

Bilbo rested a hand on his husband’s shoulder. “I’m well aware of what happened to your brother. It was terrible. It took away part of your life that you can’t take back. Trust me, I know the feeling. Just be careful not to take part of Fíli’s life away. He has a chance to decide himself what will happen in his life. You gave him that chance when the Mountain became yours again. Don’t take that chance away from him again.” Bilbo laid the other hand on Thorin’s other shoulder and they stood for a while in silence. 


	3. Chapter 3

Shortly thereafter, Fíli was strolling through the market, looking at everything and nothing. He had the young Frodo on his back. Or if not on his back: his shoulders, in his arms or clinging to one of his legs. 

“Toyshop!” the hobbit exclaimed more than once. Fíli nodded and changed their direction. His mind had been heavy for the last day.  _ His own family. If his own family didn’t and wouldn’t understand his unwillingness to marry and ‘settle down’ as they called it, who would? The kingdom?  _ Fíli didn’t fool himself with high hopes. 

Thorin hadn’t pressed the matter as much since their company left yesterday. He could only hope Bilbo talked to him about it, but he had no inkling about what their conversation had contained. 

Nobody had ever bothered him about this before. But lately, he could just  _ feel _ the noblemen’s eyes on him, resting at that vacant seat beside him at the formal dinners. He’d invite a friend next time. Tell everyone that they were  _ together,  _ just to get them off his back. 

A small smile played at the corner of his mouth, when he suddenly found himself standing before someone recently familiar. 

“Hygís?” 

“Your Majesty!” She bowed. 

Fíli tried to overcome the dreadful, awkward silence he knew would come. “Out shopping?”

“Y-yes, Your Highness. Just some eggs I needed.”

“You bake?”

“I love baking, Your Majesty-” Fíli held up his hand to interrupt her. “Fíli is fine.”

“Oh, I don’t know if my father or King Thorin would approve of that.” 

“I’m rebellious enough as a Prince to say I make that decision myself. Fíli is fine, trust me. What are you making?” He nodded at her basket. 

“I never quite know, it always comes as a surprise. I end up making bread and bagels mostly.” 

Fíli lit up. “Really? I love bagels.” 

“Yes, the fun for me is the experimenting. I might have some kind of idea where I want to end up, but the yeast always has its own idea!” She laughed quietly, covering her mouth with her hand. 

Frodo began pulling on his hand, getting impatient as only a child can. Hygís smiled at him. “Who do we have here?” She bend down to meet Frodo at eye level and extended her hand. “What a handsome young man.” 

Frodo stood up a little straighter. “Give her your hand”, Fíli smiled encouragingly and nudged him forward. She was, of course, only being polite. Everyone in the Kingdom knew who Frodo was. 

“Me and Fíli are going to the toyshop and out buying apples! We also went to the lake days ago. Oh, and ny name is Frodo!” 

“Lucky you! And apples? Maybe an apple tart is what I should try and strive for this time?” 

“We wanna taste!” Frodo declared loudly. 

“Well, for giving me me the idea, I think you should. Definitely. This afternoon?” She gave Fíli an inquiring look. He nodded. “Yes, I don’t think we have any other business to attend.” 

When Hygís had left for home, and the two guys were on their path again, Fíli had a nagging feeling. She just invited them over. For tea and tart. Lovely gesture, but .. But what if she thought it was a date? He had met her twice, and the few times they had now talked, she seemed nice enough. He just didn’t think he could ever, what’s the phrase, get feelings for her. On the other hand, he had never felt in love with someone before, so who was he to know what it felt like. 

Love. 

He loved his mother and Kíli. His uncle. About 99 percent of the time. Bilbo and Frodo. His friends, from all walks of life. Extended family. Fíli was fairly certain he loved many people. But having them living with him? Walking down the street hand in hand with them? No. 

He loved Tauriel. As a brother loves a sister. He loved the members of the Company as friends. Close friends. But just, no. 

Come to think of it, Thorin had told Fíli a couple of times already what a fine and honorable dwarf Ori was. Of good family and nice manners. Fíli had agreed and just gotten on with his life. 

Then Bofur.  _ “He might be a couple of years older than you, but he keeps up with the best of them, and underneath the fun-loving partier there is a heart of gold. He is a good dwarf, Fíli.” _ Same thing happened. He had thought it odd for his uncle to go into such detail about a couple of them, but he did not disagree with what Thorin had said of them. 

Just. No. 

He would never .. with Hygís .. or any ..

Was it dishonest to go and just make a new acquaintance? Maybe friend?  

If she had invited him under the pretense it were to be a date. Then what? Would it hurt her feelings too much to just plainly say it as it was? Or spare her getting feelings in the long run? 

A tug to the hand put him out of his mental anguish. The toyshop lay in front of them. 

Fíli, who had been carrying Frodo, put him down. 

_ Frodo? _

Of course. Frodo! He had been invited alongside him! You wouldn’t invite small ones on a date. If this wasn’t a date. If this was just a normal get-together chit chat about all and nothing. 

If it was, his problems would be out of mind. 

_ (If it wasn’t, what would he tell Thorin?) _

Inside, Bifur patted the small hobbit on his head. Bofur examined the toy in Frodo’s hands. “Knowing just what yer goin’ for, huh?” He said in his chipper tone. 

Fíli stepped in and the chime above the wooden door announced his presence to the room. 

“Fíli, mate! Out spoilin’ the younger generation, are we?” 

He nodded quietly. While Bifur was showing Frodo how to make the tin-made eagle soar through the sky, basking its wings, and save the troubled hero (as represented by a wooden rabbit) Bofur placed his arm around Fíli’s neck and led him out of earshot. . 

“Somethin’ troublin’ ye?” 

Fíli needn’t worry about Bofur, as the object of his affection was currently, most likely, out on his questionable daily business of providing for his family. 

Also, Fíli refused to start doubting everyone’s intentions, just because of some unpleasantries. It was hard, however. Funny how he didn’t have that problem before. 

He hesitated before answering, not wanting to go into too much detail. The Ur family were nice and understanding people, but recent events had taught him to keep that side of him to himself. 

“I understand if ye don’t-” Bofur started. 

Fíli held up a hand. “It’s fine, but maybe some other day, Bofur. We came here for a happy visit, little Frodo being promised a thing he’s set his eyes upon last week.”

Bifur was just ringing the item up, under Frodo’s eager glance. 

Saying their thanks they left the cousins and headed back. 

A couple of hours later, Hygís was cleaning up the kitchen and checking the tart regularly. She hadn’t mentioned the impending visit to her father or anyone else. They were going to get the wrong idea. And false hopes. 

Scratching her sideburns, she went over the plan again. How would she tell him? Frodo was with them, so she couldn’t go into too much detail. But what if the Prince had other ideas about her. What if he didn’t like what she was planning on saying? 

Three knocks on the door. 

Hygís opened and let them in, welcoming. “Hello, thanks for having us!” Fíli extended his hand. 

Frodo came in quietly, and after getting used to the surroundings, he showed her his new toy eagle. 

“What a nice bird!” She cooed. 

“It’s an eagle, and it always comes when you want it to! I wanna see it someday. For real.” He said proudly. 

She nodded along, both her and Fíli hoping he never would see one in real life. 

Frodo walked around and letting the toy soar through the kitchen. 

Fíli wiped sweat from his forehead. “Oh sorry Your Maj-- Fíli, we still have an open oven. It gives the best heat. Both to the tart and in here!” 

He thanked Mahal for making her think the heat was the cause for his sweating. 

“Just a quarter of an hour left and it should be perfect.” 

“Did we come too soon?” 

“Oh no, no, I just added some last minute items. Needs a little more time, then.” 

They sat in silence for a minute. 

“Listen-”

“You see--”

Both halted. Then smiled nervously at each other. “You first”, Fíli said. 

“Yes. Well .. Uhmm. You know?”   
“Know?”   
“About that arrangement. The thing with the King. And my father. And all that ..”

_ How could I not? _ “I’m aware.”

“I’m not ready! And I don’t think I ever will will be!” She blurted out. “I don’t want to get married. Even to a prince. A future king. It’s quite the honor, I know that perfectly well. But it’s just .. It’s not for me.”

Fíli was left with the thousand yard stare and shook his head. Then closed his eyes. Sighed. 

Hygís could feel tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes. “Your Majesty? I didn’t mean to overstep any rules. I won’t be a good wife. To anyone.”

“Hygís. That .. that sounded exactly like the words I was planning on saying.” 

She wiped her eyes. “Oh, how afraid I’ve been.”

“I thought I was the only one”, Fíli admitted. 

“Me too. But, what will we tell them? My father. And-”

“We’ll worry about that later.” Something beeped. “I think your tart’s done”, he smiled. 

They had a wonderful afternoon together, forgetting all about marriage and arrangements. Frodo entertained them with his multiple of stories about eagles, rabbits and horses and before they knew it, the evening had arrived. Hygís heard footsteps in the distance and the door opening. Her eyes went wide. “My father!” 

Fíli understood the hint and took Frodo in his arms, making as little noise as possible. The crept out the window, making a hasty goodbye scene with the young dwarrowdam. A few seconds after they closed the front gate, they heard her greet him. 

On the short walk home, Frodo exclaimed loudly “My eagle!”

Fíli looked in the hobbit’s hand. It was certainly eagle-less. “We’ll come back later after it.” 

“In an hour?”

“Dinner is in half an hour.”

“Tonight?”    
“Tomorrow. Definitely.” Fíli promised. 

“Are you going to marry her?” Frodo asked suddenly. 

“N-no. I don’t think so. She’s my friend. I won’t marry my friends.” He smiled. 

Frodo thought for a minute. “Sam’s my friend in the Shire. I wanna marry him!”

“Alright, then you  _ can _ marry friends”, he laughed. 

“I don’t know if I want you to marry Hygís. Uncle Bilbo thinks you shouldn’t. Uncle Thorin wants you to. They argued about it over dinner last night.” 

_ Bilbo doesn’t want me to? He .. understands? _

Fíli suddenly had a whole new thing to wonder about, and he absently told Frodo that he’d tell his Uncle Thorin to stick to more light dinner topics. 

* * * 

A few miles from the castle, at the end of the mountain, a dwarf smiled at the news that had reached him recently. Fíli to be married soon. No certain suitor yet. A prince. An entire kingdom soon. What a vision for the future. 

A kingdom. All he ever wanted. And now suddenly within reach. 

“Son?” he called out.  


	4. Chapter 4

Kíli and Tauriel exited the dining hall, hand in hand. Before closing the door, Kíli turned around and send an optimistic smile in his brother’s direction. “Coming?” He asked. 

Fíli nodded and threw the napkin down on the table before taking off. 

Bilbo helped himself to another plate, and Thorin lifted Frodo off the big chair made of hardwood, so he could run along as well. 

Thorin’s sister dined elsewhere tonight, possibly with one of her friends, and that left only him and his husband back in the grand hall. For a while, all that could be heard was Bilbo’s metallic sounds of cutlery meeting a plate. 

He suddenly turned to Thorin. “Have you heard anything from Hýgil?”

Thorin shook his head, then changed his mind and nodded. “Yes. He can’t get a word out of the daughter. She-” 

“Hygís.”   
“Yes, Hygís. She won’t give him a yes or no. And I really need to know soon!”

“Why?”   
“There’s been .. other offers.”   
“What? Other off-- What?” 

“Three sets of parents and guardians. All wishing to see their child with Fíli.” Thorin couldn’t help but sound proud at the prospect of so many suitors. For his own nephew. The eligible bachelor. 

“When?” Bilbo was quickly losing his cool.  _ When in the world was he going to tell him?  _ “Thorin, Fíli - and Kíli - are as much my family now as Frodo is yours. Why wasn’t I included in this? Actually, why haven’t I been included in any of this from the start?” Bilbo was losing his appetite now too, and put down his fork. With a loud bang. 

Thorin seemed to be greatly picking and choosing his words in his head.  _ He better! _

“Fíli would be - and will be - a great and caring husband”, Thorin started. “The one who chooses him in the end will be well taken care of.”

Bilbo shook his head. “Fíli is a great person. Now. Who knows how he might feel if a marriage is to come? And he’s unhappy in such an arrangement. Do you still think he will be as sweet and caring?” 

“Why would he change?” Thorin looked directly at his husband. He had always assumed his nephews would grow up and marry. Hadn’t even questioned it or given it a second thought. That’s the way it’s always been and always will be. 

But something inside him was starting to stir. Slowly, a thought was creeping up on him from the outmost corners of his mind. A most unwelcome thought. 

_ Was this the right thing to do? _

* * *

A father sat in front of his son. Arms crossed and a smile playing on his lips. 

“Did the proposal reach the castle?” his son, Ulmur, asked. Ulvar nodded, staying silent and continuing his thoughts in private. From his work in bringing letters and passages around the Mountain, Ulmur had been a great help. That, and of course he was the only one available in the family for a marriage proposal. 

It hadn’t been difficult for Ulmur to find and destroy at least a dozen letters intended for the castle. All of which contained proposals for the King, about his bachelor nephew. Some of them must have slipped by them, Ulvar wasn’t that naïve, but their chances at getting a good place within the royal family increased for every destroyed letter from other hopeful applicants. 

Now, all there was left was setting up a meeting between Ulmur and the Prince. And if they didn’t fall in love then and there, some  _ gentle _ persuasion might come in handy. 

* * * 

Tauriel knew she shouldn’t. She knew perfectly well. It wasn’t her place and it didn’t concern her. Except, she was starting to think, it did. 

Dear Fíli had been different these last few days. And everyone and their grandmother knew perfectly well why that was. But once that stubborn uncle of theirs got this marriage idea stuck in his head, he’d been plaguing the entire castle with it from dawn to nightfall. And she was beginning to suspect Fíli might never have any wish for marriage. She knew of elves back home who had the same inclinations. They never married nor too lovers and were perfectly content. 

Without any bad conscience she carefully opened each letter - four in all. They contained precisely what she thought they had. Wishes to meet and proposals. All for Fíli. 

She knew better than to dispose of them, but Fíli had to know this!

Tauriel ran along the halls of the castle first. No Fíli. She sped up and frantically searched outside. Every corner. 

“Kíli!” She called out once she spotted him walking around outside, holding Frodo’s hand while the little hobbit told him the names of vegetables he had never even imagined existed before. Kíli picked up a -- what was it called again, Frodo? -- eggplant and held it high so she could see it. “See, it doesn’t even look like an egg!” Frodo giggled but Tauriel paid it no mind. “We have to find your brother!”

“Fíli? Is he missing?”

“I don’t think it’s that bad, but I have some grave news for him.”  _ For all of us. _

Kíli dropped the amusing vegetable. “Hygís.” Frodo informed. 

“He’s with Hygís?” 

“Hygís”, Frodo confirmed. “Last time she-” he didn’t get any farther, before he was picked up by Tauriel and all three of them ran inside again. 

“Hmm”, Kíli mused. “You think there’s something between them? Maybe a little bit of .. romance?” He made great innocent eyes and battered his eyelashes at Tauriel before grinning. Then he remembered the  _ grave news _ and looked from side to side. “So, where does she live?”

They needn’t worry about that matter, as their combined eyes soon spotted Fíli, all at once. 

“There!” They yelled, in unison. 

Fíli noticed a rumble behind him and barely had the time to react before Kíli flung himself at him. “Fíli! Grave news! We couldn’t find you!” Kíli rambled on, as Fíli gave them a quizzical look. 

Tauriel composed herself better. “We need a quick chat.” 

Mere minutes later, Fíli once again felt like he was thrown back into a pit of despair. 

“They were all for me?” he asked. 

Kíli grinned. “Well, little soon for Frodo here to start getting proposals!” His smile disappeared, once he saw his brothers look of concern. 

“Why can’t he just let it go”, he muttered under his breath.  _ Why? Why was his uncle so preoccupied with this? He doesn’t remember ever telling  _ him  _ who he should marry.  _

“The soonest one is tomorrow. At noon. With someone named Ulmur.” 

“Ulmur!?” Kíli gasped. “The letter bringer? He’s like a hundred and sixty! That’s almost as old as Thorin!”

Frodo grimaced. Fíli worried he was hearing far too much for his own good. 

“It’s not like they’re going to marry me if I don’t want to and says no.” He tried to console himself. 

“But it won’t stop. You say no, the next one will be in line immediately. Then the next one. Forever.” 

Kíli spoke up. “On a positive note, there won’t be dwarfs forever. He’ll run out of candidates eventually. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find someone once the first fifty have gotten a big fat no.” 

Tauriel tried to stop him before he could go any further. But Fíli held up a hand. “Kíli. Tauriel. I have to tell you something. One of you might have already figured it out.” He gave Tauriel a thankful nod. 

“I’m not .. I’m just not interested. I never have. And I never will be. I don’t know if something’s wrong, or--” 

“Something is not wrong, dear Fíli.” 

He smiled and looked down. “I won’t ever find someone to marry. And that prospect is just fine with me, because that’s how I wish it to be.” 

Kíli chewed on his lip for a while. “I see. I see it perfectly well.” A light went on in his eyes it seemed. “You’ve never told me about any crushes. You’ve never said you had a special someone. And yet, you always felt happy. Right?”    
Fíli laughed. “Exactly.”  _  Until now. _ “I was on my way to see Hygís. She is .. she’s the same as me.” They both nodded, understanding. No invitation was needed, as they all followed him to his destination. 

“You know”, Kíli spoke up. “I’ve never really thought about it, but I think I know one or two other dwarves like you!”

They chatted and played around with the young Frodo, before he finally settled on a lookout post on top of Tauriel’s shoulders. 

When the time came and Hygís opened the door, she was met with a hobbit, an elf and two dwarven princes. 

“Sorry to come unannounced, but I need to talk to you about something. Well,  _ we _ need to talk to you.”

Hygís held her breath before opening the door wider. “Is it bad?”

None answered. Each took their seat. 

Tauriel waited for Hygís to finish pouring the beverages and spoke up first. “We’ve received news.”

Fíli took over. “Or rather, lack of news. Neither of you answered my uncle back, so four more have .. you know.”

Hygís went pale. “Oh. Oh no. But we-”, she glanced at the two newcomers. 

“It’s alright, they know the situation.” Fíli calmed her. 

“I .. we .. decided that we shouldn’t answer. I haven’t told my father yes or no. It’s ruined now?” She turned around and sniffled silently. Fíli stood and came to her, patting her shoulder. “No, no, it’s not your fault. Or our fault. Not at all. It’s my uncle, he’s made his mind up to make this happen quickly, and well ..”

“Now our plan failed.” Hygís’ shoulders quivered. “I’ll marry you. I will! If that’s what it takes to get them off our backs.”

“They’ll expect babies soon. And no. I have to come clean to Thorin and Bilbo.” he held her hand. “But the idea was very sweet of you.”

“You know we won’t live as husband and wife, but we’re friends now! They won’t know we’re not traditionally wedded folk.”

Fíli exhaled. 

“Maybe if all else fails”, Tauriel started. 

“But they shouldn’t have to! Everyone will just have to accept the circumstances”, Kíli spoke up. 

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one with Uncle on your back at all times, asking about your love life”, Fíli snarled at his brother. 

Kíli looked hurt. “Sorry”, Fíli said. “I know you’re all on our side, I didn’t mean it like that. But it’s so difficult.” He looked at Hygís. “What about your father.”

“Oh boy, he’ll take some time to get used to his only child not marrying. And carrying on the name.” 

“You need to make them understand how happy you are. Without marriages and proposals hanging over your head.” Kíli said. 

“Yes”, Hygís agreed. “Somehow.”

* * * 

Thorin spoke up, before anyone could take their first bite that evening over dinner. “Fíli, I deeply regret saying this, I know how you enjoy your trips and exploring, but I’m going to have to cancel your next trip.”

Fíli nearly choked. “Wh-what? Cancel? What did I do?”

His uncle smiled dearly at him. “Not to worry, but we have more important matters here. Our dear friends Master Hýgil and Hygís have been negligent in answering back. And after they made the first proposal, it is most strange indeed. But not to worry, a new meeting have been initiated!”

Bilbo honestly didn’t know whether he should roll his eyes or slam his head down on the table. He decided to keep cutting Frodo’s tomato for him. 

“Master Ulmur has shown great interest in meeting you. His father was once a diplomat for our Kingdom, but has retired.” 

Fíli, of course, couldn’t say that he already knew all of this. Acting surprised, he exclaimed “For the same purpose as Hýgil was here with his daughter?” 

Thorin cleared his throat and hummed nervously. “Of course. I hope you don’t have anything planned at noon tomorrow.”

Fíli sighed. “I don’t.”

 

Thorin placed a hand on Bilbo’s shoulder to make him slow down, outside the dining hall. 

“Lately, you’ve made a clear case about your thoughts on all of this.” Thorin gestured to nowhere in particular, but Bilbo had no doubts what he meant. “I still hope for a possible spouse for Fíli in the future, though.”

Bilbo stopped abruptly. “Thorin? He doesn’t wish for one.”

“As the eldest heir, I’m starting to think he has no choice.”   
“That’s a horrible thing to say”, Bilbo blinked, unable to process. 

“Kíli won’t be the Kingdom’s next ruler. And Frodo-”

“I know what you’re going to say! Frodo would, or should, never take over as ruler. Not here, not anywhere.”

“That wasn’t what I meant, you misunderstand. Frodo - I want him to enjoy the simple life. No pressures or too many responsibilities. But Fíli has many of those, he needs a spouse and he needs to carry on the line of Kings.” 

Bilbo looked away. “Thorin”, he started. “You’re not the same dwarf as before. You’ve changed.”


End file.
